Learning to Forgive
How often have you heard the line in a book or film, “But that I can never forgive”? It is usually spoken after deep betrayal, when the hurt feels too raw and too costly to release. Perhaps Peter felt something similar when he asked Jesus,
“How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Is seven times enough?”
Jesus’ answer is clear and unsettling:
“Not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!” (Matthew 18:21–22)
For a disciple of Jesus Christ, forgiveness is not an optional extra; it lies at the heart of our faith. It reflects God’s boundless mercy towards us. We forgive not because it is easy or because others deserve it, but because we ourselves live by grace. We are forgiven because God, in Christ, has first forgiven us.
Biblical forgiveness is often misunderstood.
It does not mean excusing harmful behaviour, pretending the wound never happened, or instantly restoring trust. Forgiveness begins by naming the hurt honestly and choosing mercy over revenge. It may still involve boundaries, accountability, and time. Forgiveness is not about denying justice; it is about refusing to let bitterness have the final word.
Illustration
Corrie ten Boom, a survivor of Ravensbrück concentration camp, described meeting a former guard after the war. He asked for forgiveness, holding out his hand. Everything in her resisted—the memories were too painful. Silently she prayed, “Jesus, help me.” As she reached out, she later wrote, she felt a warmth flow through her—not from her, but through her. Forgiveness, she discovered, was not something she could create; it was something God supplied when she was willing to obey.
As disciples, we must recognise the same truth. We cannot forgive in our own strength. Forgiveness that goes beyond our natural limits is the work of the Holy Spirit—softening hearts, loosening clenched fists, and slowly healing what has been broken.
Challenge
This week, bring before God the person or situation you find hardest to forgive. Without rushing the process, ask for grace to take one small step—perhaps to pray, to release resentment, or to let go of the desire for retaliation.
Prayer
Merciful God,
you know the wounds we carry and the hurts that still ache within us.
Fill us with your Holy Spirit, that we may forgive as we have been forgiven—
not in our strength, but in yours.
Heal what has been broken and guard our hearts from bitterness.
In the name of Jesus, who forgives without limit.
Amen.
