In Genesis 32 Jacob wrestles with God and His promises as he from Haran to Bethel:
Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’”
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Then God said to Jacob, “Go up to Bethel and settle there, and build an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau.”
Many a follower of the Lord, has had episodes on their journey where they have erred and not completely followed his leadings. As a consequence of such difficulties the sense of unworthiness can become an almost unbearable load. Such was the case with Jacob. I am struck by an idea of G. K. Chesterton who said, “We are unworthy to receive any gift at all from God, and we are unaware of our unworthiness until we realise that we are unworthy of even the gift of a dandelion. This weed we would like to remove from our garden grows naturally and completely by the grace of God and spreads its flowers everywhere. The naive children see it as a blessing.”
It was who John Newton wrote to a young minister advising that God leads his people through distresses, including a sense of their sinfulness. And His purpose? To: ’…preserve in you a due sense of your own unworthiness, and to convince you, that your ability, your acceptance, and your usefulness depend on a power beyond your own.’
In spite of our unworthiness God still desires to bless us but like Jacob, we need to acknowledge our that we are unworthy recipients.
Lord, I know that Your Word tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know I am your child; I know that I am saved by your grace. You are kind, good, merciful and gracious, and because You are all of those things, I know You are all of those things for me. When I feel unworthy, help me stop looking at and comparing myself to others, but fix my gaze on You. Through You I will always see my worth clearly. Thank you for your gracious love toward me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
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